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By: Marleen Marylin Mour
With 68 percent of men and 52 percent of women admitting to having had affairs, infidelity is neither rare nor new. Still, it is such as widely shunned topic and an even more highly misunderstood act of desperation. One that’s so easy for us all to judge as immoral and wrong until we are in the position where our own relationships leave us feeling neglected or unappreciated. Then all our personal reasons and justifications come to surface and cheating appears as a plausible solution to our otherwise unsatisfying predicament (for more on this, read the upcoming book “The Allure of Infidelity - Understanding Why Most of Us Cheat and What We Seek from Our Affairs”).
If you are currently having an affair or thinking of cheating, chances are that your conventional relationship has failed to cater to your intimate and emotional needs and you are yearning for someone to make love to you or ravish you and make you feel alive and adored again. After all, affairs start with an intimate conversation, that leads to sex, not just sex, because it’s our emotions that move us to infidelity, not mere sexual desire.
A persistently unmet need that another offers to satiate is very difficult to refuse particularly when that need relates to our sense of self-worth and fulfilment in this life. Perhaps a man simply notices you when your own man hasn’t made eye contact with you for months and that admiration received is captivating and alluring. Whatever it is, know that with infidelity, it always takes two to tango. Emotional or physical neglect from one partner will fuel infidelity in the other. Thus, the victim of infidelity is rarely the victim of the relationship.
Whilst this book is not designed to promote or shun your desire to cheat, it recognises that all too often, we feel stuck in relationships that fail to fulfil their purpose and leave us feeling unloved, unappreciated, undesired. If you have struggled to engage your partner in overcoming the underlying issues that lead to your desire to look outside the box for your ultimate happiness, and you are reluctant to let go of your existing romantic-less relationship till further clarity is gained, this book is my gift to you. This book will help you take control of your life, think for yourself and do what’s best for you without being frozen in fear of society’s inconsequential judgment. This will show you how to evaluate what’s outside the box before safely and successfully stepping out and seeking answers for yourself, if you so choose.